While this country hasn’t come round to imposing a ban on giving your kid a name that may mar all his life – like it was done in Sweden or New Zealand – some of our celebs keep trying to be so ingenious that there’s no stopping them. Rob Morrow – who called his daughter Tu Morrow – played a good pun, but will it stay as good in a coupla decades? The only comfort left is that he didn’t choose to spell it “Too.” The child with the moniker of Kal-el should be tutored from green years not to overreact to other people enquiring when he came over from Krypton.
The problem seems to have evolved into an acute condition since some time around the turn of the previous century, as can be witnessed by the appearance of the book entitled “How to Name Your Baby without Handicapping It for Life” (1922) whose author by a bombastic name of Alexander McQueen ought to know a thing or two about the said handicapping. He advises, when naming your children, to bear in mind both the practical daily use of the name and the understanding that a name has a meaning that will help the child build up personality and destiny.
A decent name, according to McQueen, should respond to seven factors – be worthy, positive in its meaning, offbeat, easily pronounceable, distinctive, sex-indicative and finally, must go well with the family name.
Going over the names luminaries handed to their children from the point of view of the right-minded scholar, it looks like some of celeb parents would have won his appreciation, while some others would definitely evoke censure.
As for winning 2011 celeb names, the most noteworthy seem to be:
For girls –
Willow Sage, arguably the most original, from Pink;
the suggestive Monroe from Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon;
Penelope Athena, Tina Fey’s devotion to ancient lore;
Joni from Zac Brown;
Amaya from Mariska Haritgay
For boys –
the fantastic Skyler from Rachel Zoe;
Milo from Alyssa Milano and
Marcelo from Ali Landry, both with a pleasant exotic touch;
Flynn from Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom;
Weston from Jenna Fischer
Worst misnomers in 2011:
For girls –
the weighting-down Genesis from Viola Davis;
Mirabella Bunny, a funny match-up from Bryan Adams;
Indiana, a tribal touch from Ethan Hawke;
Arlo from Johnny Knoxville;
Mosely from Peyton Manning
For boys –
the childish Bear Blu from Alicia Silverstone;
Spike, an aggressive name from Mike Myers;
Kannon, sounding warlike, from Kevin James;
Diesel from Jennie Finch;
Moroccan Scott from Carey and Cannon.
The list for 2012 will soon start completing too, with an expected nice boy name from Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck (arriving brother to Violet and Seraphina). Wonder how far will Jessica Simpson’s and Beyoncé with Jay-Z’s imaginative powers in naming take them?