You are determined to have a baby and you’ve got everything ready, but you just can’t get pregnant. Some couples are grateful they faced this problem because it made them closer and stronger as a family. Other couples felt it like the toughest experience of their life. There are also examples when a loving couple surprisingly split after a baby is born. What can an expecting couple do to ease their stresses and avoid quarrels?
Sometimes spouses are so overwhelmed by worries that they seem to get lost. Here are three dangerous situations any expecting couple may face.
1. Broken Sexual Identity
There are persons whose self-esteem is strongly determined by their sexual identity. The sexual identity, on its turn, is associated with fertility. If something goes wrong, you partner may be thinking like “I’m a useless woman” or “I’m not a real man”.
What Can You Do about It?
Try to support your spouse by making him or her understand that your partner is great whatever the quality of sperm or fallopian tube health. That works if your really care for your partner.
2. Deciding on Who’s the Leader in the Home
Some couples see pregnancy problem as a cause for fighting over the issue who’s the leader. Who should choose sex positions? Who should take care of contraception? Who should decide on the right pregnancy diet? But for the can’t-get-pregnant-problem, they would have picked up another cause.
What Can Be Done Instead?
Do the list together. You know, set a kind of a household policy. It may stir up some discussion. Well, you have your weekend to figure it all out. Remember that you are doing this for your future baby’s sake. But do you really need to decide on who is better for the leader’s role?
3. Pregnancy Problems or Mutual Claims
Not all marriages are for love. Sometimes, love springs up later. It may happen that spouses get attached to each other after having their own baby or making an adoption. The pregnancy problems may provoke aggression or obscenities towards a person you decided to build a family with. And what was the pregnancy problem at first evolves into mutual bitter reproaches like “You don’t need me, you need a child” or “You are hysteric, no wonder you had the miscarriage!”
What Would Help in this Situation?
Imagine you are 25 years from now and you are an empty-nester. Your son, or a daughter, has a big house and doesn’t want to have children (and that’s a person’s right to decide, by the way). Do you want to be together in twenty five years? It’s up to you. Or you think it is impossible to be happy in marriage?
You Do Have a Baby
Remember, if you plan to have a baby, your baby is already here. You are thinking and dreaming about your baby. You are arranging everything. You are talking about your future child even if you say nothing. At the back of your mind, you are a family now. However, family physiologists warn both parents against being too much focused on their kids. These parents sacrifice a lot, and the sacrifice won’t do any good for your kids in the first place. Trust family physiologists. They had a great experience.