A would-be mother and father, who fail to become parents, usually experience the state of emotional loss and are unable to cope with their feelings. They endlessly ask themselves questions: why they had a miscarriage and if the disaster could have been averted. Experienced experts are ready to help with some tips on how to cope with this feeling.
After Miscarriage: The Consequences for the Family
Emotional recovery can last for quite a long time after a miscarriage. It happens that the loss of an unborn baby increases the problems that already exist in couples, and implicit problems become an insurmountable wall. Being reserved will not improve the situation. The spouses should not increase the distance between them. They should talk about what happened, creating the background of shared experience and convergence. But even the most loving people sometimes fail to cope with the pain of loss.
How Does It Feel After Miscarriage?
A woman and a man feel the pain of loss in a different way. The father, as a rule, does not feel such a connection to the unborn baby, as the mother, since the fetus is not a physical reality for him. The man is most likely to experience the collapse of his hopes and expectations. In addition, the man expresses his feelings differently: instead of anguish and despair that most often serve as the women’s expression of grief, aggression and anger are observed.
The woman, who has lost her child, is suffering from a kind of depression that resembles postpartum depression. There may appear such symptoms:
- loss of appetite;
- depressed mood;
- distracted attention.
There is a feeling of helplessness, guilt, lack of self-confidence, and fear of the future. Hostility can develop, and the mood changes dramatically. The risk of severe depression is particularly high in the first month after the miscarriage.
How to Support Someone after Miscarriage?
Try not to get detached from the rest of the world. In fact, mothers find it extremely difficult emotionally to lose the baby, even if it has existed only in her imagination. The woman should be given a chance to talk.
Emotional separation from the unborn child (if the surrounding people back the woman) is usually completely terminated after the period of six months. Write a letter to yourself or a dear person (it is not necessary to send it), talk to your unborn baby. This will be a crucial circumstance in the healing process and reconciliation to the incident. If a woman voices her feelings and thoughts, she will get out of their control.
Getting Pregnant after Miscarriage
The experts assure that even after miscarriage one can try to have a perfectly healthy baby. At first, this idea seems blasphemous to some women, while others may have an obsession to get pregnant as soon as possible.
But this seemingly logical way to compensate for the loss is dangerous. In case of miscarriage, one should wait from six to twelve months before trying to give birth to a new life. This time is required not only for the physiological recovery, but also to recover from stress and forget the unlived emotions and feelings. One should not try to replace the lost child with another one, it is necessary to conceive another baby for its own sake.