If you are pregnant, you are probably looking forward to the time when the baby is born. But, in fact, you should expect not only pleasant moments, but also little disappointments, maybe surprises. But do not worry, it’s perfectly normal! And it will be much easier to cope with if you are aware of them. So, what should expectant mothers be ready to?
After childbirth. Who knew? You have just experienced the pain of childbirth, and you are already up to no lesser suffering – especially when the midwife is massaging your uterus so that all the blood clots and the placenta come out of it. Should I mention the sensations when they will be stitching your perineum ruptures? But do not worry, you will get over it, as well!
2. The first urination is difficult
Take a bucket of warm water and pour it on the lower abdomen and the perineum – it will help a little.
3. The first bowel movement
Do not panic. You are not giving birth to another child. Although this is how you feel. Nothing extra will fall out from you. However, it may. Rectal prolapse occurs quite often, especially if you have ruptures. And you probably have them…
4. Your child looks weird
Really strange. Others keep saying how cute it is, and you will accept it. But in fact it’s a small wrinkled old man, covered with a strange white gruel and light fur.
5. Boys’ genitalia look pretty funny
The testicles are huge as for the baby’s body, with a small “nipple” above. Do not worry, most likely it is swelling, which will soon wear off.
6. Weird first poop
This is not poop at all, it looks like tar. The midwife is sure to come to see how you deal with it for the first time.
7. Your first shower
First, it will be hard, you will think that you will be walking with your legs wide apart, like a cowboy, all your life. But then… you seem to wash away all sins and become human again. Since then the shower will be the only place where you can be alone and relax.
8. Most midwives love children
They can come and take your child without asking, massage his or her stomach to make them defecate, squeeze his testicles…
9. Your child hates you
It’s not just crying, it’s a warning that the child is going to ruin your life.
Seriously, of course not. But it seems that the baby cries only in your arms, that it tortures you for the whole night on purpose…
10. You will pronounce the word “suck” more often than ever before
And the picture of the little person who casually sucks your nipples will become a reality. At this point, you will feel like a real mother. Perhaps a cow.
11. In the hospital there are people who feel your vulnerability
They can take pictures of your baby and then try to charge you for it. They will show you dozens of similar photos of your child in the same position and force you to choose.
12. It farts. It belches. It hiccups
It makes strange noises during sleep, so that you are afraid to wake up and see the ominously laughing Chuckie doll in its place. You hope that people understand that it is the child who makes these noises, not you. Although you also have a problem controlling gases now.
13. Everyone you’ve ever known will want to come and see you in the hospital
People really like to visit someone in the hospital. They feel like a VIP when they go to the ward. But you are not in good shape, so see only the closest people. Better yet, do not mention which hospital you are in.
14. Your belly resembles a ball, which slowly deflates
A stretched skin fold remains on your belly, and you just want to cut it off with a knife (why don’t they do it immediately, for example, if they do a C-section?). Do not worry; the skin will not hang on your stomach forever.
15. Everyone will start talking about the need for contraception
Midwives are constantly saying that you can easily get pregnant after childbirth. They do not take into account only one thing: you are confident that you will never have sex again. You do not want to see a man’s private parts. At least for the next few weeks.
16. Midwives keep asking you if milk has arrived yet
Some would come and just squeeze your breasts – and it’s incredibly painful. Within three days, your breasts will fill and milk will even start to flow or sprinkle with the slightest touch, like a garden sprayer.
17. Everybody wants to send you home as soon as possible
If the child is all right, so be it. But do not hurry. At home, the baby will behave as if you know what to do. Appreciate the time in the hospital to learn everything that you need.
18. Enough worrying. You’re not a superwoman
There is no such thing as normal or ideal. You are normal and ideal for your child. It does not condemn you, and it relies entirely on you. Yes, you are responsible for another human life. But you can do it. And it will be easier with each passing day. Breathe.