Yelling is not a sign of rage or a desire to harm the child, it is rather the signal of helplessness. That’s how it is perceived by children: yelling parents are perceived as insecure and unstable, which makes the children scared.
Yelling is totally contraindicated in education: the fact is that it promotes demonstrative behavior in the child. When the mom starts yelling, the child gets used to crying, kicking the floor, stamping his/her feet and cheating even more. This is because the child gets used to such emotional reactions and uses them.
You might think it is easier said than done, especially when children sometimes madden their parents by exposing themselves to real danger. Does the child deserve being patted on the head when he/she reaches for a hot pan?
Instead of yelling, try to do the following:
1. Negotiate with Your Child
If the child’s constant refusals (to walk, to eat, or to go to school) drive you hysteric, make him an offer he can not refuse. For example: either the child is going for a walk, or mother is not going anywhere with him (while the kid is running around with a laced up boot, just go back to your chores – you have an agreement, after all).
2. Leave the Room
The vast majority of children’s tantrums are absolutely demonstrative. Thus, the child is trying to cause the mother’s emotional response (actually, it is not out of malice, but because the child either fails to demonstrate enough emotions, or exceeds the reasonable limits). Give the little artist some time to calm down: let him/her learn that this kind of a provocation is a weak argument.
3. Calm the Kid Down
Let’s say the child brings you to a fine fit of anger again, lying in the corridor and hitting the floor with his fists. You should take it easy, take a magazine or a book and read it until the child stops the tantrums. The more you repeat it, the faster the child will learn to keep emotions under control. However, try to keep an eye open for the child not to hurt himself (in a fit of hysterics, some of the children can do that).