There are times when teenagers are really the limit. They deprive you of the last shreds of patience you were able to muster and you break out yelling your head off at them.
Of course, it doesn’t do anybody any good, but losing patience from time to time is what we just can’t avoid doing. If it doesn’t happen too frequently it is a normal state of things. Still, you have to bear in mind that it is not the way to deal with teenagers, and if you resort to shouting too often, you can get the reverse effect and aggravate the child’s behavioral problems.
This point is well stated in an online study by Ming-Te Wang and other University of Pittsburgh scientists in the Child Development journal. The Pittsburg experts claim that attempts to shout down and insult the teenage miscreant make them depressive. Their study showcases that 13-year-olds who were regularly yelled at and treated in an aggressive fashion tend to develop depressive symptoms at 14 as compared to their peers who were not subjected to such behavior.
Actually, nobody enjoys to be treated like that at any age, and young ones probably less than any others. Still, we have to do something to instil some discipline for them to develop in the most profitable direction. Let’s consider some steps we can take to control the situation.
Establish clear-cut rules for the teenager
Your teenage boy or girl should know well in advance what behavior is accepted and what is inacceptable. Involve them in working out what you expect from them, and let them know what consequences of bad behavior they will incur. Let them have mapped-out ways of behavior that they themselves helped you set up, it will be easier for them to follow the plan.
Set an example for your child
Children keep observing their parents’ behavior and model their ways accordingly, don’t forget about it! To all intents and purposes, you are the best teacher for your kid. Make a point of being cool and sociable when your children are around, check aggressive and obstreperous outbursts.
Bring consequences in concordance with the misdeed
There ought to be a connection between the misconduct and its consequence, and the teenager must be aware of it. It should be appropriate in type, severity and duration. Don’t lash out at the child, the consequence must be expected and exercised quite calmly.
Have the miscreant make up for his misdeed
Whenever it is possible, have the child undo what wrong they did. If their misbehavior was directed at a person, they should apologize and make up by doing some favor to the person in question.
Praise when it is due is the most important factor of all
Control and discipline don’t mean that we only react to bad behavior. Draw attention to the child’s good behavior, give them enough praise, positive feedback and assurance that they are appreciated.
While we are aware that physical abuse brings about a lot of harm, verbal abuse is hardly milder in its negative effect. There’s never any need to tread on the kid’s self-respect and self-worth. You’ve got to show your teenager that you are well equipped to deal with their tantrums and misdeeds without getting too nervous and overreacting. Be efficacious and maintain your posture, and you won’t go wrong!