“Well done!” is the typical phrase of approval that parents say to their child. These words can be uttered several times a day. Is it correct?
Modern educators come up with five mistakes that parents often make, praising their beloved child.
“You are a true sportsman,” “You are a real artist” are the stereotypes, the phrases that put labels on children and do not give them an opportunity to show their real merits. Due to constant labeling, the child will not be able to understand what he really is like.
2. Praising without meaning
It often seems more complicated to choose the right words than just to say “That’s wonderful!” or “This is the best picture I’ve ever seen!” Draw the child’s attention not to the result, but to the hard work that has to be done to reach it. It is better to say, “I see that you really worked hard to draw this car.”
3. Praising for natural behavior
It is not necessary to emphasize the child’s natural abilities and constantly praise him/her for them – whether it is a musical talent or an ability to run fast. Praise the kid for the things that require his efforts.
4. Praise in the presence of another child
Both praise and criticism in the presence of another child leads to rivalry and jealousy between them. It is preferable to praise the child alone, face to face.
5. A mixture of praise and criticism
If you praise, do not sneer and remind the child of previous failures. For example: “How nice your room looks! You must have spent a lot of time to clean it. Look, it is much better now, when the floor can be seen!”
We need to stop after the second sentence for the child to have admiration in the soul rather than an insult.
What do psychologists say?
Praise is needed at any age because it manifests adults’ love for the kid. However, one should praise for some real actions. Praise is like sweet candies – it is good in small amounts. Otherwise, the child will get used to it and will lack those genuine things and words that will help him grow up happy.