It has happened, or it was your decision, that you’ll be parenting alone. Don’t get frustrated! There is absolutely nothing guilty, or shameful about it. Here are some tips which, we hope, will help make your life easier, more interesting and fun.

1. You Are Not Alone

Single moms often feel isolated. You absolutely have to break through it. You need to mix with many people and have your small circle of close and loved friends. They can make things a bit easier for you: your parents may help you look after your child and your friend may take your child from kindergarten if you have to stay over at work. Although this kind of support is important, it’s more crucial to look for moral support. Find room in your life for Friday night fun with friends and grand Saturday shopping with other moms and their kids. Bake cookies on Sunday, attend yoga classes, go to parties and make parties yourself. And try to make friends with other moms (and dads!) who are parenting alone.

2. Ask for Help

Many single moms are embarrassed to ask for help. They are afraid of approaching even close friends and think that they must handle everything alone. Hiring a nanny is costly, but you can’t leave a child unattended. If your family or friends offer their helping hand, don’t refuse it. Surely, there are people who simply want to do something for you, but they don’t know what. Meet your neighbors who have kids of the same age as yours. You can scratch each other’s back. Today they’ll look after your child; tomorrow you’ll return the favor.

3. You Are Not a Super-Mom

Many single moms are convinced they have to be super-moms. They keep their house sparkingly clean, make strawberry pancakes for breakfast and never cook the same dish for dinner. They give their child all attention and work like mad. Stop it! You’ll never find a room for yourself if you go on like this. Don’t even try it. It’s ok if you wash the floor once a week instead of moping it every day. This will give you more time to spend with your child and rest. Corn flakes for breakfast is also not the end of the world, you know.

4. Say No to That Sense of Guilt

Sense of guilt is the main satellite and enemy of all single mothers. Whatever the reason you are bringing up your child alone, you’ll be overwhelmed by worries that you work too much (or too little), that you are strained for time or money, that you have tensions with your ex-partner, that you want more kids, that your family is incomplete.

It’s very easy to fight those anxieties. Don’t you realize that problems are inescapable and exist in any family? But there are always bright sides, too. Instead of thinking like “if only my child had a father”, think what a great time you have with your child and how you love each other.

5. Your Small Achievements

You’ll feel more complete and successful if you always strive for small achievements. Many single moms aim at losing weight, finding new husband, moving into bigger house. These targets can be very hard to hit. Simplify your tasks. Try to go to the theater once a week, write a new post in your journal, jog in the mornings. This is not that difficult and a lot of fun. And every time you succeed to do what you’ve planed, you can feel great about yourself.

6. Put Up with Your Past

It’s important to find peace of mind. For single mom it often means reconciliation with the father of her child. Ex-husband is the major source of stress for many divorced women. So let the past go. It’s easier to say than do, but you must give it a good try.

Source of the image: Photl.

Kordeza’s story is simple and touching: meeting her would-be husband, Jeliazko Dimitrov, 19, on the school playground. Engaging themselves in games and then in sexual games. Preventive measures? Using a condom? They hadn’t even heard these words.

Now Kordeza is the mother of a charming little girl named Violeta, who will probably start going to school when her mother will be finishing it.

Source of the image: dailymail.co.uk.

The man begins to feel as if he were pregnant himself – he has bouts of nausea, his food preferences may change, his appetite varies and he may suffer from indigestion, his weight may also be affected. There are cases when experiences like labor pains and contractions were recorded in a male while his partner was in labor.

Statistic says that almost 80 % of men whose partner is with child react to her condition displaying sympathetic pregnancy in various degrees.

There is no clear-cut scientific explanation as to what may cause sympathetic pregnancy. Mostly it is explained from the psychological point of view.

The explanation that came down from the ancient times brings these symptoms down to anxiety, worry or depression the man may feel at the idea of a child coming into the family.

Nowadays some psychologists put it down to the man being envious of the important role the woman begins to acquire both in the family and in the life of the coming child. Sympathetic pregnancy is either a way to steal a part of the limelight or the desire to share the woman’s sensations. With some men it may be a wish to stake a claim on as important part in the child’s life as that of the mother.

Another theory links this phenomenon with gender roles in relationships. The man who preferred – or was pressed into – a role traditionally attributed to women may thus try to take on this female task along with some others.

There is even a theory that approaches pregnancy symptoms in men from the physical point of view. A long-term coexistence of two people who are close to each other may result in changing the man’s testosterone and estrogen balance which can bring on the appearance of the relevant symptoms.

You cannot be 100% sure that the symptoms you observe signify sympathetic pregnancy. It may as well be a sign of other health problems assailing your husband. Still, there are cases when the man is feeling exactly same that you are, and it may be so strong that he will have to stay off his work for a while!

Source of the image: flickr.com/photos/bies.

Many men claim that they start eating more as a sign of solidarity with their pregnant wives who get upset because of the pregnancy-related high appetite. In addition, many husbands also claim that there are more snacks in the house during those nine months and thus they are constantly tempted to have a snack.

Source of the image: flickr.com/photos/rodrigo_siqueira.

Do Men Really Need to Be in the Delivery Room?

According to The Royal College of Midwives in Britain, nine out of ten fathers attend the birth of their children. But there are no studies whatsoever looking into how many of those nine actually wanted the experience and how social expectations influenced their choices. As for all the popularity, there is another voice keeps growing louder every year saying dads in the delivery room are useless and indeed make a nuisance of themselves. In a poll conducted by the Royal College of Midwives, 88% of mothers said they’d have felt relieved if fathers’d stayed out. The same poll revealed the half of husbands couldn’t assure their role was of any importance. Pretty mixed, isn’t it? So why do we need the husband in the delivery room and what is his role there?

Support or Nervousness?

Most women would say he is there for support. Childbirth is a challenge. And who could support you better than a loving husband? He is there because he cares, he is strong and encouraging. For many, this feeling works better than painkillers. But this scenario applies best when the husband makes a gut decision to be there, unhesitating. On the other hand, many couldn’t predict their reaction to a dramatic scene of birth. Indeed, instead of upholding their woman’s courage, they might end up clutching to their own. Many doctors say a man in the delivery room is often a contributor to nervousness, passing his own fears on to a woman.

Delivery Room as Punishment for the Husband

Women name another reason why they want the husband as a witness. They want some justice. If he played an easy role at conception, it would be fair to have him face the music. And this seems to be the most controversial part. Many psychologists attribute this partially to revenge. Women want their husbands to share their sufferings. Is this as selfish motif as the husband’s reluctance to be there? And how to draw the line between the need to be comforted and the intent to hurt?

The Effect on Sexual Life

One more argument for getting the husband involved is that the experience bonds him to the child and wife. Many couples say they proceeded with happier marriage after they passed that test in the delivery room together. But there is a sensitive part to it, too. While the majority of husbands don’t mind being in the delivery room, they go like I’m really not into watching the “actual” process or cutting an umbilical cord. And they say that for reason. Witnessing the child coming out might change the man’s sexual perception of his woman. And at the worst scenario – for good. Complaints about sexual dysfunction related to childbirth experiences are reality, too.

Obviously, the issue is very sensitive and needs careful consideration before making any decision. There is no better advice than given by those who had the experience themselves. So maybe we can share with those who’s about to decide.

Source of the image: flickr.com/photos/cdallot.

Someone Else’s Presence

Some men feel uncomfortable knowing that his child is in the room, which is understandable.

The Baby Might Get Hurt

A surprisingly huge number of men believe that they might be knocking the baby on the head. It’s impossible. Explain it to him.

Girl Problem

Many men who know that their pregnant wife is carrying a girl feel very uneasy being intimate with their daughter so near.

Afraid of Hurting You

Communication is of the utmost importance at this stage. You should clarify what is acceptable and what’s not. For example, tell him not to apply pressure on your stomach or that a cushion should be around just in case. It’s your job to convince him that you won’t get hurt if he uses the right position and the right amount of pressure.

Positioning

You have to accept it; it’s very difficult to find the right position and angle while having sex with a pregnant wife, but you can try to work out something.

Scared that His Semen Might Bring on Premature Birth

This is true to some extent. Semen does contain something called prostaglandins which trigger the coming of the baby. But this works only near the due date, so you should comfort him that pregnancy sex won’t be a trouble maker.

He’s Overlooking the Fact that Intimacy Is not All about Sex

There are many, many ways to have fun without engaging in intercourse. Maybe you should remind him passionately.

He Isn’t Aware that Pregnant Women Experience the Most Intense Orgasms

With some tender persuasion that females experience earth shattering orgasms in late stage pregnancy due to the increased blood flow to the related regions, he might become very interested in finding it out.

Half of all men actually have problems engaging in sex with a pregnant woman, especially women in the late stages of pregnancy. So if you find that your man is not able to perform, blame one of the above reasons and don’t worry about the fact that your man doesn’t find you beautiful.

Source of the image: sxc.hu/profile/omar_franc.