5 Signs of Egoistic Parents
Narcissistic parents are the people who always put their own interests above the wishes of their child. Check whether you have these five traits that are typical for them.
What is meant by the term “narcissistic parents?” These are the people who raise their children so that they fulfill the role ascribed to them by parents. Narcissistic parents try to control the child in everything from clothes to friends. Such people have an ideal image of what their child should be and want to be sure that the child conforms to the imaginary ideal.
The couples, who behave in this way, often do not achieve much success in life and try to compensate for their own shortcomings, resentment, and failure at the expense of their children. In this situation, their children act like puppets: according to the parents, they should act and behave the way adult family members desire.
Below you will find five clear signs of narcissistic parents. Make sure such behavior is not typical of you or the people with whom you communicate frequently.
1. Decide what clothes and hairstyle the child should have
Of course, when the child is too small, the parents choose his/her clothes. But after reaching school age, most children already have their own ideas about how they want to look.
Narcissistic parents differ in that they are absolutely not interested in what pants and T-shirts their child likes (they do not even ask his/her opinion). The child needs to wear what the parents like. Items of clothing are selected according to the image of a perfect child.
Such parents are more concerned about the message that the child sends to the surrounding people rather than the interests and preferences of their child.
A child should dress and look the way he/she finds comfortable. It is clear that we should not allow the child to go to extremes (for example, dye the hair until a certain age), and yet children should have the right to choose.
2. Appreciate school grades rather than the child
Often, there are situations when parents are too serious about the child’s grades. From the beginning, it may seem that these people care about the welfare of their child, but in fact many of them do not even find time to spend with the child and help him/her with studies, which would help to get better grades.
3. Choose the child’s social circle
Narcissistic parents often are careerists and believe that the success of their environment affects them. Therefore, even their children’s friends are chosen solely according to the parents’ influence.
For example, they prefer their child to make friends with the high-ranking official’s son, even if the latter has a bad character, rather than with a friendly and affable daughter of a local shoemaker.
4. Require full obedience
Such people find it vital for their children to carry out all their instructions. If the child resists the authority of the parents or disagrees with their decision, the entire plan for bringing up a perfect child is threatened.
Normal parents do not need unconditional submission of their own child because they do not have a final picture of who their child should become. They perceive the child as a person and give him/her the right to show individuality.
5. Have a list of professions that their child is permitted to dream about
Smart parents’ main task is not to impose any profession based on their own views of the world and help the child identify his/her strong points, skills, interests, and values.
Narcissistic parents want their child to become a lawyer, a doctor or a representative of any other profession that is supposed to be profitable. There is nothing wrong in this endeavor, but you cannot be sure that the people of these professions are really happy in life.
In fact, there are many people in the world who have received a diploma and have never worked in their field. These degrees result from the desire of their parents rather than reflect their own interests.
Smart parents need to admit the fact that their child will choose a profession which he/she is longing for and which reflects his/her aptitude, even if the profession does not seem promising.
