How Kids Drive You Nuts: 15 Commonest Ways
No-one can be as pestiferous as our little angels. They turn into little devils before you bat an eyelid when you least expect it. It went so fine and suddenly your self-control snaps at nothing much. Well, at least in some cases the transformation is often quite predictable, and there are situations which no child bypasses without acting up. See if you know them all.
Travel bug
How many times per ride you hear your kid inquiring “are we already there?”
Clothes ban
There comes a time when children go off clothes, and no amount of cajolement can make them put on their clothing.
Name change
It’s so dull to be called by the same name, so from now on you have to address him as Captain, because he masters a space ship.
Phone in hand
Whenever they see your iPhone lying around, they grab at it and start pressing buttons or fingering the screen.
Any question is OK
Especially one dealing with kid-glove points of appearance or attire. The little one will get to the bottom of the matter.
Behavior shifts
They are perfect at home, so polite and well-mannered – but once they find themselves outside, their behavior undergoes a lightning-speed change. You can only wish the earth swallowed you as they start running about shouting or drop on the floor refusing to get up no matter how much confusion they cause…
Body wishes
They want you to carry them around on your back or in the arms when they’ve gotten too heavy for that, and are prone to jumping on you. You are lucky if you are lying down at the moment, but what if you’re changing clothes or talking on the phone? Grrr.
Dinner disaster
Everyone else will be proud of the meal you turned out, but not the kid. He or she will spend the dinnertime pulling the dish apart to see what traces the bits leave as they are driven off. They don’t seem to care that it is tasty and nutritious.
Bedtime toilet journeys
Before they are to go to bed they are reminded to go to the bathroom – which doesn’t prevent them from wanting to poo as soon as they hit the pillow. You thought you could put them out of your head for a little while, but no, first you will have to deal with this emergency.
Bouts of omniscience
If your kid gets in the mood that he or she knows it better than you do, all your life experience goes down the drain. The little one will insist that things are not as you say… And will enjoy putting you down.
Booger consumption
Luckily they grow out of it eventually, for this problem is so hard to fight…
Urine hit’n’miss
It may seem that boys have more difficulty in aiming their urine stream, but girls can leave as much urine outside the toilet as boys. So, mopping it up is your regular chore.
Restlessness
They aren’t able to relax and lay back on the journeys. It will be constant scrambling, kicking, snatching at things, wriggling and fidgeting. Expect no rest.
Going vocal
Screams, shouts, whining in various combinations make for most of the kid’s conversation. Looking back on the time you won’t believe that you lived through it all and didn’t go mad what with these unceasing vocal attacks.
Birthday party moments
Going over and over on what other kids received as presents or were treated to at parties in the same voice and with no apparent sense can be excruciating.
Unfortunately, the list is incomplete – and some of you can make it much longer.
