How to Parent a Rebellious Teen that is Still a High Achiever
Parents preemptively dread the teenage years for their children even when they are toddlers. While a toddler’s terrible twos might seem to live up to their name, teenage years are tough in a different aspect. Teenagers differ in their rebellious nature due to a variety of factors. Parents can usually expect something similar to their level of rebelliousness. This is nothing short of terrifying for those parents that were teenage nightmares. A rebellious nature does not automatically mean that your teen will not achieve anything.
A teen might still have academic or athletic goals while simultaneously giving their parents trouble. Taking away a sport or club they enjoy is never the answer as this is a recipe for disaster. The following are tips to help parent a teen that has a rebellious streak but still maintains their academic/athletic obligations.
Be Realistic About Your Expectations
Parents lowering their expectations can allow a teen to breathe especially if they are involved in quite a lot. Getting a B in a class is not the end of their lives regardless of what you or they think. Expecting a teen to thrive in all areas of their life is simply not realistic and can set them up for failure. This doesn’t mean to lower expectations too low but rather allow your teen to know they don’t have to be perfect. A teen that is athletically inclined might just have to attain certain grades to qualify for a scholarship. Support your teen’s passions and make sure you push them to be a well-rounded individual.
Mental Health Days
Mental health is an aspect of teenage life that seems to be swept under the rug too frequently. Teenage anxiety is a real problem in today’s world with quite a bit of this being attributed to technology. There was a time where a teen could unplug for the day but this is no longer an option. Teachers can email assignments during all hours and contact with friends is seamless. Allowing your teen to take a mental health day a few times a year can work wonders. There are days where it will be far more beneficial to take a break than to push through another day that seems like it will never end.
Take Them to Seek Professional Help
The last thing that a number of teens want to do is to open up to their parents. Opening up to a mental health professional can be far easier as a teen will not feel judged. Being able to tell someone without fear of getting into trouble can provide relief to your teen. The most important aspect of this is not to break your teen’s trust during this process by trying to get information out of the therapist. Teens might resist this in the beginning but likely will drop their defense mechanisms after a few sessions. Family therapy is often used to show the dynamic of a family. This can expose the inner workings of a family and can often identify the reason a teen is acting out.
Create an Agenda to Get a Real Look at Daily Obligations
Asking your teen to create an agenda of everything that they have to handle in a single day can provide insight for a parent. The agenda could reveal that your teen doesn’t have time for a job due to their extracurricular activities. Not all teens have to have a job as sports or academics could be their current focus. Listing this out can allow your teen to see how much time weekly they are spending on a particular activity. They might realize that the hours they spend at school newspaper meetings could be better spent studying or relaxing.
Achievements Shouldn’t Give Your Teen a Free Pass
Teens that continually achieve in school or sports are not immune to making the occasional mistake. Poor grades or skipping school still need to be punished even if your teen was named player of the year in a sport or got perfect grades during a semester.
Actions have consequences which you need to instill in your teen regardless of how accomplished that they are. With all of this being said, the trouble your teen get into can be put in perspective if they are thriving elsewhere in their lives.
Parenting a teen can be rewarding and challenging at the same time. Take the time to establish a parenting plan for your teen if their behavior has shifted recently.
