How to Recognize Child’s Talents?
Good parents consider it their duty to raise their child self-sufficient, responsible, and able to finish what he/she started. However, they often receive aggression in response. Why is this happening?
Major reasons for children’s aggressive behavior are the desire for recognition and a low self-esteem. To obtain recognition and raise self-esteem, it is important to find and develop talents. Overzealous moms and dads often bend over backwards to recognize and apply all the child’s talents. What mistakes can they make?
Social priorities
Relying on social priorities adopted in the society, parents are always tempted to choose a talent for the child themselves. It is cool to be a footballer – let the son go in for football! It will not be difficult for dad to convince a 6-year-old boy that he likes football. Then, the training starts, and the child gets bored. However the son continues going in for football out of fear to disappoint his parents. He may realize that he, for example, likes to embroider, but it’s not a man’s business, and his father will not understand. Then the internal tension grows and results in aggression!
Overestimated abilities
When the family has an only child, the parents pin all their hopes on him or her. Early development of the child’s abilities becomes an obsession, whether the kid is gifted or not. Mom and Dad never miss the chance to proudly mention the clubs their child visits to their friends and relatives, as well as to talk about his or her successes. However, if the parents consider the progress insufficient, it turns out a real tragedy. What is more, the child might not want to develop and may demonstrate aggressive behavior.
Unrealized dreams of the parents
Sometimes parents try to impose their unrealized dreams on their children. Mom wanted to play the violin, but she did not. Now the daughter is forced to attend the hated music school, although she is more interested in volleyball. However, she can not go in for volleyball because she needs to take care of her fingers! The mother wishes she had had her daughter’s opportunities back in her youth – she has chosen the best school and bought the most expensive instrument for her daughter. But must the daughter do what her mom once wanted to? A broken violin is an open protest, and this is the best option compared to the accumulated aggression, which can become uncontrollable.
Bans on experiments
Children tend to experiment, searching for a pastime that will help them to realize their talents. The child may first get involved in sports, but then give up. Then he or she may enroll in a music or art school and once again find no satisfaction. The child is willing to try again but the parents blame him or her for not being able to make up his/her mind. Tags like “irresponsible”, “careless” make the child introverted. He or she does not try to find his/her talents any more, being afraid to make a mistake again and to displease the parents. So, a child can, for example, keep playing the piano with anguish and sometimes hatred, and, having finished, never come to the instrument again.
How to help your child gain recognition and raise self-esteem
A child should realize what he/she likes, and parents should try not to interfere, only to support, to be patient and not to impose their will on the child. Do not rush to invest in expensive musical instruments or in sewing dance costumes – they can always be rented. At least, you can return the money you invested by selling the things the child is no longer interested in on the Internet. It is better than to reproach the child endlessly.
And most importantly, moms and dads have to give their child unconditional parental love and acceptance, not dependent on talents, successes or failures.
