Is Your Kid Overscheduled?

In most cases there are excellent reasons for the child to go into one thing, take up another and get interested in a third; it’s plain marvelous when the younger generation does so enthuse about life and cannot have enough of it. On the other hand, it can easily end up with the poor kid being torn apart in an attempt to do everything that they have shouldered. Who’s to blame when pleasure turns to burden – children themselves emulating their friends or parents bent on raising a new genius? No use in tracing the root of the evil, no use in waiting until something snaps. Check if your child is overscheduled.

What makes children take activities on?

The answer is different for different families. In some cases the decision to stretch their schedules lies with the child. They don’t want to lag behind their peers – or they set their sights at a college and drive themselves to get there by dint of hard work.

There are also parents who believe in engaging the child instead of leaving him or her to their own devices; they think activities help the kid to mingle and learn to be in with the crowd. They prepare the kid for an active social life.

Even when no pressure is meant, when parents just go along with the child’s wishes, it can result in an unnaturally tight schedule. As the child gets involved in something on top of something else, the situation can become overwhelming, and the family will be exhausted before long.

There’s no doubt that these sports and activities will bring about lots of benefits socially, physically and developmentally. While being excellent pastimes, they teach things like concentration, discipline, aim-setting and problem-solving. Still, if it turns out to be burdensome at the end, there may be a price to pay, and nobody wants that side of it.

How to determine that the child is overscheduled?

It is essential you realize the problem before it gets drastic. There are signs that the child begins to bend under strain. Of course, they can vary with each young one, but the commonest of them are:

• the child complains of tiredness, shows signs of depression or anxiety;
• stress can often cause eating problems, troubled sleep, headaches or stomachaches;
• school achievements deteriorate because the child has less time for doing homework properly.

Other aspects to be affected eventually are social activities and friendships, family life also suffering its share of the strain – especially when each parent roots for their favorite activity and puts pressure on the kid. As every member of the family tries to meet their commitments, they fall to eating separately, conversing less frequently and more hurriedly.

Besides, the chore of driving the kid (or kids!) around the neighborhood for their practices and games week after week is time-consuming and exhausting for both parents.

What are solutions for a tight-scheduled family?

• Sometimes when parents urge their kids to take it easy and miss some activities when they don’t feel like going there, it may stir up friction because the child’s friends will be there or because the coach will be at them for the absence. Yet it’s up to parents to see if the child grows exhausted.
• So, scheduling needs some careful consideration – the activities your kid signs up for should be in accordance with their age, inclinations and abilities. The little one mustn’t feel lost and frustrated when he finds himself doing something too complex for him or bored when the activity isn’t engrossing. The activity may turn out to be absolutely fruitless if it’s done for the sake of parents only.
• To ensure that the child(ren) don’t get burned out but will be enjoying their extracurricular hobbies try and set up some limitations from the beginning. With that in aim, when you are discussing activities, include the following points:
• Establish some basic rules – like going in for one kind of sport only or going out to activities not oftener than two or three times a week.
• Find out how much time it will take. Is the time of the practice really convenient for the child? They may disregard the point, but you know how irritating the wrong time can be. And what about homework? How it will fit in with other commitments?
• Fix engagements on a calendar. Hang it on some place where it can be easily checked and consulted for everyone to remember their appointments. Mind there are some blank spaces for the family to take a breather.
• Though your child is signed up, it’s all right to miss the activity a couple of times. Important occasions may turn up, or the kid may want to go to a show – don’t let them feel caged up in what they are supposed to enjoy.

Arrange carpooling with your neighbors for a better time management

• See that the family’s schedules are balanced. Your kids’ – and your – engagements should not overlap so that you are put hard to it to drive them to their destinations and attend to your own affairs. You are also entitled to your free time to get some enjoyment!
• Plan time for the family to be together. However busy you might be, you surely need some fun time with your family – plan the time for playing games at home or stepping out for an entertaining time outside. At least some of your dinners should be eaten with all the family present.
• Keep priorities in mind. Studies mustn’t suffer, and the child ought to know that! If it becomes difficult to do his or her homework properly, some activity should be given up on.
• Refuse to clutter up the child’s schedule. If they are keen on taking up an activity in spite of a tight schedule, discuss whether it’s really worthwhile – or insist that something should go.
• Don’t cut out relaxation time. We all need some time to wind down, go over the events of the day, feel free from obligations.

How can we ease the strain?

Take some time out and consider how your child(ren) live. Discuss their way of life with them, see if it’s all right by them or they feel pressurized. If it’s needed, explain once again that they mustn’t be run off their feet.

Encourage them to take walks, spend some time in the open air, take it easy and listen to some music or maybe just stare at the window or lie on the bed. See if they really enjoy having downtime. Children must remain children and periodically play with other children knowing that no strings are attached.