My Child Hates School: What to Do?

So, schooling is an issue in your family: the young one professes not to bear school gladly, berates teachers, has conflicts with classmates, expatiates about the futility of studying. Of course you just have to shift their viewpoint, but you have already found out that it’s not an easy task. So, what to do if your child hates school?

Well, there are reasons aplenty to denounce schools: assignments are often difficult, challenges pile up on a daily basis, school life is pretty stressful, sometimes it seems that everyone concerned is dissatisfied with what was going on.

Being parents, we are deeply involved in the process – but we can’t simply be at our children because of their disinterestedness. The thing is, to enable them to stick with learning, enjoy it, pick up helpful habits and skills that will come in handy later. There are efficacious ways to encourage the child to change their attitude and get working.

Agree that learning is a frustrating affair

If you are ready to admit that full-time learning is demanding, often exhausting and frustrating, your kids will understand that you are being open with them. While there are fun sides to learning, mostly it is an arduous matter, and there are subjects and topics which are tedious, difficult, or both at once.

Once the kid has grasped the message that it is necessary to handle tasks that may not be so very amusing, they can go on to develop the habit of being effective whatever the job at hand is.

Help them set goals

It’s up to parents and teachers to find out a child’s talents and proclivities. Get the kid to sum up what they are good at, what they want to learn to do, and what they would like to teach or show others. Give assignments to students to list their goals, both academic and personal, consider which gifts could help them develop abilities required for achieving these goals.

Reflect on your actions and behaviors that may be causing problems

Sit down and consider the following points:

• whether you get at your children very often;
• whether you can’t stay off their school headway and other school concerns when talking to them;
• whether you treat your kids‘ pastime as a useless distracting factor irritatingly deflecting them from studies;
• whether you are apt to juxtapose your offspring with classmates, pals, siblings;
• whether you accentuate decent school performance constantly as predominantly important;
• whether you habitually prevail upon your child to make them do their homework;
• whether you sign them up for programs not asking them first if they want them;

Any of these attitudes is not likely to make your lovely adolescent hate school. Yet if you pile it up, and turn it into a power game, you might result in your kid(s) resenting school-related stuff more with each passing day.

Discover the Most Pleasurable Ways of Learning

Get your young one(s) to put on paper how exactly they prefer to study. It may be through doing something with hands, drawing, listening, creating – anything goes. Let them write what was memorable from learning – whether it was an interesting lecture, a creative assignment, a clear explanation; then write out a list of things that impede the progress.

The teen’s efforts and headway should be acknowledged and praised

There are many ways for kids to get discouraged at school. Expectations of their parents and teachers are often difficult to live with. Grades can be hard to get, so it’s the effort put into the process which should be taken into consideration. As you see that he or she tries harder then usual, show them that you have noticed it and are pleased. Let them know that pleasure is in the going, not only in the arriving.

As they realize that their progress matters more, they will be more motivated to get on.

When discussing school with your child employ listening techniques

Actually, the following advice isn’t related to school issues solely, but should be employed any time you want to conduct a serious talk with your children. This is the best way to listen:

• be ready to listen carefully and attentively;
• let him or her explain themselves without interruptions;
• say things like „is there anything else?“ to make sure that you are told everything there is to tell;
• avoid multitasking at the same time;
• evince empathy;
• discover the child’s feelings about the subject;
• avoid expressing judgment;
• avoid moralizing;
• don’t give advice unasked, although you will be often tempted to.

As you grow skilful in active listening, you will notice your children become happier and easier when sharing their feelings with you.

Make sure your kid’s plate doesn’t have too much on it

Some of children who have an aversion for school have it for the sole reason of being exhausted. School requirements, sports clubs, extracurricular commitments can leave them completely spent day after day. Consequently, their spirits droop, they begin to develop a negative attitude to what tires them out. They can’t go without some time for themselves to reflect, dream or get busy with what they want to do.

See that the teen’s life isn’t stretched over too thinly. Give them time to breathe freely, and it may bring round a refreshed attitude to everything school.

Learn and use the “magic wand” technique

Dealing with a trifling kind of problem, you can avail yourself of the technique known as „magic wand“ which can clear the air and make for a better understanding of the situation.

Hear you child out, learn about his or her worries, fears and annoyments, evince empathy and concern. After they have had their say, ask them to fantacize: suppose they have a magic wand that can change things and remedy the worst situations – what would they wish? Will they wish for better atmosphere in class, a more understanding teacher, more attentive pals – or does the problem lie elsewhere?

Threats don’t get you anywhere

It frequently seems that threats may be the easiest route to do the trick and set the teen onto the righteous path of decent behavior. Threats can really work for a while, but as the kid grows older, their power diminishes. There will come a time when parents given to threatening their kids may get the backlash of this attitude.

In a nutshell, threats cannot serve as a good motivator and turn your child(ren) into an eager student who loves to learn and is high on grades.

Lecturing is futile

Lecturing is something that carries little conviction. Teens shrug it off easily. If you feel the situation does require one, at least, make it short and to the point.

Make sure you don’t overplay school and school-related subjects

Don’t forget that if you go overboard with discussing school and inquiring about school, your teen may grow to believe that is all you ever care about. Make it just one of the topics that you habitually discuss with your offspring, on a par with movies, games, hobbies, their pastimes.

If you maintain a wide range of conversational topics, the kid’s perception of school life falls into the right perspective – which is just as well.