What Makes a Successful Parent?

People are apt to take parenting rather personally, but actually, it is a socially important obligation aimed at bringing up responsible individuals who will fit into the nation’s lifestyle. Supervising and directing your children’s growth is a time-consuming and highly responsible task which mostly goes unrewarded and often has to be performed intuitively.

You can’t know too much about it and there are many points to be considered, so you can only profit by any kid-rearing tips that come your way. Here you will find nine.

1. Working on your kid’s self-esteem

Little kids start by evaluating themselves through the judgment imposed by their parents. The body language, the way you talk to them, the expression on your face get imbibed and go to build up self-understanding. As their self-awareness grows, you get even more instrumental in forming their sense of self-esteem.

You can praise them or derogate them, encourage their independence or point out other kids that seem to be more successful and practical, thereby making them prouder of themselves or, on the other hand, weaker and totally unimportant. Whatever your reaction is, it goes either one way or another.

Never treat children as targets for loaded messages and weapon-meant words. When speaking with them, don’t be harsh, pick your words with consideration and make them understand that you love them in spite of their conduct which may at times be despicable.

2. Accentuating your kid’s good behavior

There must have been a lot of times when you were negative towards your child because of his untoward behavior. Come to think of it, don’t you berate him more often than praise? No matter how deserved this attitude is, you won’t build anything good on rebukes, just like you won’t like such treatment from your superior at work.

You will achieve far better results by a positive attitude and accentuating creditable behavior than by attempting to correct bad behavior by ceaseless nagging.

Look around for good things to give regular praise to the children. Teach them that your hugs, approvals, and expressions of love are great rewards pointing them the line to develop along. They will be only too glad to comply to win your accolade.

3. Letting the young ones know the rules and disciplining them consistently

You won’t get anywhere without discipline. Children should understand what is acceptable and they should be taught to adhere to it by learning to control themselves. They need limits set, although they will keep trying to break out.

Knowing there are house regulations and their compliance will be insisted on, children grow to be able to control themselves and behave in a socially admissible fashion. Hitting, kicking, biting, rude words and offensive teasing, as well as the time spent before the TV set ought to be well-regulated issues.

Dealing with disobedience had better be conducted according to a pattern: first a warning, then forfeit of privileges, then a “time out” or any other punitive consequence. It would be a mistake to omit to apply consequences, like punishing for screaming on Monday but letting it pass on Tuesday. It is a consistency that will get your desired results.

4. Giving children quality time

Spending time together, even during meals, may pose quite a serious problem for some families. Yet this is what children want to have most. So it is worth your while to find some time to pay close attention to them – get up half an hour earlier to have breakfast together, don’t wash up after dinner and play a game with kids instead. Left without attention, children are more likely to act up and disobey in order to gain your attention.

Also, you can find spending quality time with your kids satisfying. Assign one evening every week that will be devoted to your child(ren) – let them tell you how they want to pass the time. Leave them funny notes, small presents or goodies to be discovered when you are away.

The younger the kid, the more parental attention she requires – as she enters into her teen years, she will need much less. As the opportunities to spend tie together grow fewer, it would be good for the parents to be able to be there for their kids when they feel like discussing some point or other or join in the family routine. Another excellent way of maintaining the bond is to go to concerts, sports events, and suchlike activities so you can show your willingness to be with them and learn more about their life and pals.

It could be very difficult for working parents who will have to resort to little things like cooking the children’s favorite food, play games with them and go for walks.

5. Making sure you are a fine role model

The main source of learning for children how to behave is their parents. Before they grow older and start to socialize with other kids and people, it is their only source. So when you are on the verge of taking it out on the child or start yelling your head off, you actually teach your little one how to behave. Is it what you intend to do? You have a constant job as a role model, you are always on your child’s mind. Kids who are prone to rude or aggressive behavior are often those who learn it at home.

Try to instill the qualities you would like your children to have – openness, politeness, gentleness, respect to other people, unselfishness. They should be able to be kind to others without wanting to be reciprocated for that, pay compliments and render thanks. You surely want to treat your children the way you want to be treated yourself.

6. Not underestimating the value of communication

Children are not ready to play along for the sole reason of their parents saying so. To comply they may require coercion or understanding why, just like most other people. Without due explanation, they are left clueless about motives and expectations. Reasoning and explaining make children realize every behavior has an underlying meaning and is followed with a purpose in view.

It is advisable that your kid understands what you mean to achieve and how exactly you set about it. With an older child, you can discuss the issue, tell how you feel about it, and even ask for their feelings about it. Bandy suggestions and options, listen to what they have to say. Once the kid realizes he or she is in on the decision, they will participate in the activity with greater eagerness.

7. Altering your parenting ways in accordance with particular situations

Is your kid letting you down periodically, failing to do what you expect them to? If so, consider your expectations – they might be unrealistic. Those who assume that children develop by a strict schedule and are practically obliged to master skills by certain deadlines would do well to check their ideas with experts on infantile development.

Children are greatly influenced by their environment – here’s your way to adjust their behavior. Make changes in the environment. Suppose you keep telling “no” to the kid, thereby teaching him to overcome resistance; think which of his desires you can grant him so you can say “no” more seldom. Life will become happier for you two.

Anyway, you will be obliged to introduce changes to your parenting practice as the children grow older. You cannot treat them in the same fashion all along the way.

8. Letting them know your love is unconditional

Being a parent, you are naturally called upon to guide your children and show them the way; if you mean to do it right, you must pay attention to how you come across with it.

If it comes to a confrontation, you had better make sure you exclude picking at, ridiculing and blaming the kid thus destroying their self-esteem. Attempt to hit the notes of encouragement and motivation during verbal disciplining, so they can feel that you love them even if you deplore the way they acted up or failed to obey.

9. Understand your limitations and expectations

Don’t even try to make out you are the perfect embodiment of parenthood. You are bound to have your weak and strong points – so lay them out for yourself. Understand your forte (you are committed and caring) and your shortcomings (I am not as consistent as I should be) which you will have to attend to. Mind your expectations of your family members are reality-compatible. Don’t think you know everything about rearing children – now and then you will have to forgive your mistakes.

Your task is to ensure your parenting is manageable. You have so much to do, single out the areas that require most deliberation and concentrate on them. See to it that you take breaks from your parenting duties to avoid burning out and to restore your peace of mind – it’s much better when the parent is happy and contended.

As you pursue your interests, you don’t need to think you are being selfish. It’s great if you take good care of yourself; doing that, you pass on the good ability to your children.