10 Parenting Mistakes Modern Parents Make
When I became a mother, everybody gave me millions of tips on how I should love my children. But I never listened to them. Because very few people actually know how to bring up not only obedient, but also happy children.
I urge you to take responsibility in this matter. Your first priority should be happy rather than obedient children. Most parents care about their children so much that they do not allow the kids to fall and get their own bruises. They intervene in their lives and are actively trying to overly protect them against possible troubles of the world.
My favorite rule of education says: “Prepare your child for the road, but do not take away from him the opportunity to walk this road independently.”
Mistake # 10: You worship your children
Most of us try to be perfect parents. Our children live in much better conditions than we used to live at their age. We satisfy all the whims of our child: he/she wants a new toy – you are welcome!, another chocolate bar? – here you are! The problem, however, is that children begin to think that the world revolves around them. And the next time your child does not get the desired thing, he/she will be very upset. Much more than the neighbor’s boy, who is not “pampered” this much.
We must not worship our children. We must love them. For us, they are the center of the universe, but they themselves do not have to think so. Otherwise they will become selfish. This is normal not to get what you want here and now.
Mistake # 9: You think that your children are perfect
Professionals working with children often say that many parents today are not ready to accept negative feedback about their offspring. Once someone criticizes their kids, there immediately appears a wave of rejection or even aggression on the part of parents. Sometimes we need to intervene as quickly as possible, so that the situation does not get out of control. If school teachers tell you that your child misbehaves and offends classmates, conclusions should be done in relation to the child rather than the teachers.
Mistake # 8: Your whole life is your children
We are proud of our children. When they do something important, we are happier than if it were our own success. But everything should have its measure. You must have your own life and your own success. Your children need the right example to follow. Become an example If you want your child to live a full life, live it yourself!
Mistake # 7: You make all the decisions for your kid
Of course, we all want to save our child from getting involved into some nasty history. Of course, we want him/her to sing praises to us; we want him/her to respect us for our desire to give him/her a better life.
The problem, however, is that such a child does not know how to think independently. So the kid falls into one of two extremes: either he/she cannot take even the most trifling decision without your participation, or begins to forget that it’s not normal to be allowed to do anything. Do not decide for your child what he/she should become. This is not the needed manifestation of your love.
Mistake # 6: Competitive education
Every parent wants his child to be better than others. Study better, show the best athletic performance. Many are addicted to this so much that their child begins to consider all life as one endless competition. But our life is not only sweat and struggle. Life is also the ability to realize the joy of the fleeting moment. It is better to try to instill in children the idea that winning at all costs is not the only thing that matters. A personality depends on one’s character rather than on victories.
Mistake # 5: You are depriving the child of childhood
The happier your child’s childhood is, the happier person he/she will turn into in adulthood. It is imperative, proven by scientists. The surest way to deprive a child of childhood is to overload the kid with school lessons, lessons in music school, studying a foreign language, sports, and so on. Besides, we want our children to help us do housework. At the same time, you should not forget that everyone should have the right to childhood.
Mistake # 4: You want to have a “right” and not “real” child
We are beginning to make plans for our children at the time when they are still in our womb. We dream that they will grow and achieve more than we have achieved.
But the irony is that you cannot get that ideal child you have been dreaming about. You get the only possible person that only you could give birth to. Do not try to change what you do not like. Do not force the kid to become who he/she is supposed to be in your dreams. Let him/her become what he/she wants to become.
Mistake # 3: You forget that actions speak louder than words
We all want to seem perfect to our children. We all know that in order for the child to become clever and kind we must set an example for him/her. But most of us forget that moral instructions are effective only in case you follow them.
So next time you scold your child for being disrespectful to peers, ask yourself if the child has not spied a negative example in your behavior?
Mistake # 2: You judge parents for their children
When you meet an ill-mannered child anywhere, you automatically start thinking if the child has bad parents. But this is not always the case. No adults are perfect, and their children are not the same. Nothing is perfect in the world; there is nothing hopeless either. We never know how much other parents worry about their children. Therefore, we should not judge them.
Mistake # 1: Underestimating character
Each child has his/her own character and an internal moral compass. These things mean a lot more than your attempts to turn your child into a perfect personality. Do not try to teach the templates written in the books to him/her. Each kid needs a special approach. The main thing to be concerned about is the character. The only possibility to give the child your temper is to give him/her more freedom. Do not hide your child from the real world. May your love not become a prison for him/her!
