How Young Moms Make Their Lives More Difficult
Mothers are apt to hear from other women more than once that begetting a child is one of the most wonderful experiences a woman can have. That is true in spite of all the hardships moms have to go through: the nine months of pregnancy with all their ailments and the succeeding – and highly demanding – years. No hardships and exertions can ever turn a woman off giving birth to a new life.
It may sound too simple and matter-of-fact, but actually, it is Nature’s great wonder – the female body and the processes it undergoes. It is expected that her man helps her along with manifestations of love and care, yet his role is infinitely less significant – it is the woman who is responsible for producing the following generation.
Despite multiple hardships in store for mothers-to-be, women can be fairly ignorant about how to take some of the burdens off their shoulders. They are apt to make mistakes which add to their worries; some can – in an attempt to become perfect mothers – overreach the mark and make the situation much more strenuous than necessary.
In the past many communities organized mentorship for young parents where they could get advice and guidance through difficult situations; sadly, most of these structures have ceased to exist by now. Yet we ought to preserve the knowledge and make it available for those who need help and support in their hardest moments.
The feeling that whatever they do goes wrong
First-time mothers tend to eat their hearts out if they feel that they are not quite up to the idea of perfect motherhood they had pictured. Some young women believe when they have given birth, they naturally get to know all things related to being a mother – although they can’t be further off the mark.
So when she and her baby are back home, it begins to dawn on such women that they don’t know even half of all the tricks… What’s more, they begin to feel that things are going out of hand. That’s what young moms have to learn: that mothering skills are picked up in the process. Meanwhile, everybody is likely to make mistakes, so there’s no need to feel frustrated if you don’t grasp all the tricks of the trade at once.
The wish to go back to their previous body almost at once
Many female celebrities take care to be known for regaining the body they had before pregnancy within several weeks after the delivery. Minding these examples, a lot of young mothers become sure they want – and should – emulate them, getting back into their previous bodies in impossible time spans. They don’t realize that there is nobody who expects them to really accomplish this feat, and they can make their lives very much more difficult by the attempts.
These women should know that they have been accruing pounds for nine months, and this extra weight can’t be taken off that easily. At least, not within a few weeks. If they cease to struggle towards getting thin and focus on leading a healthy life, her body will react the way they want it to.
The stress when they start buying things for the baby
When women get pregnant they often start buying up baby things through long lists. It usually ends in their getting hold of a lot of stuff that they will find they have not used at all. They put their faith in baby lists and thought it would all come in helpful, but the truth is the lists are way too comprehensive and superfluous. So there’s no need to make your life more onerous by purchasing yet more things – even if you can afford it. The best bet is to bring up this subject with more experienced moms and make short lists of things you will really need.
Negligent attitude to themselves
Babies require so much attention that moms tend to desist to care for themselves. They literally don’t have the time or energy for anything else. But if women neglect their appearance, health, and hygiene, eventually it will aggravate their lives.
Moms, especially first-time ones, should understand that their well-being must come first. If they make up their faces, dress up and make public appearances they will feel energized and armed with a different attitude to their current lifestyle.
The wish to do all the chores as well as look after the baby
Some mothers think they will be able to do what they did before – clean the place, prepare meals, run errands – and in addition take care of the newborn. Maybe there is nobody else around and it is left with them anyway, yet performing all these activities is exhausting. When taking care of the little one lands on top of all the house chores, it makes the woman run off her feet trying to complete all the tasks. What she needs to do is to find helpers for many of her former responsibilities because caring for the baby should become her main task now, especially during the first half year.
The urge to compare the baby’s development with other kids
Understanding that all little children differ from each other and have their own rates of development helps moms to avoid unnecessary worries. There exists a list giving the ages when babies are expected to teeth, sit straight, begin to walk and to talk, but the list is loose and many babies just don’t fit in. While some of them go ahead of the designated times, others get behind, but this doesn’t mean any advantage or disadvantage: they all will grow into fine people.
Meanwhile, first-time mothers are tempted to compare the milestones of their dear little ones to their peers. This habit can bring on undue concern, stresses, and make the mom’s life more cloudy altogether. These useless comparisons had better be avoided; instead, moms would do well to concentrate on bringing up their babies as well as they can.
Visitors to see mothers
When a baby is born the event draws visitors to the house – friends and relatives will want to see and hold the baby and congratulate the happy parents. It is wonderful to receive such tokens of love and affection, but for all that, the visits can make an extra burden. So many people coming might mean that infection could be brought in, with all the kissing and hugging, and the mother may find it difficult to protect the health of the newborn.
Probably as things stand you can’t very well forbid visiting, but you can take some precautions. Tell the visitors at once that you wouldn’t like them to prolong the visit, and they shouldn’t kiss the baby until it has grown a bit. Also, make them wash their hands before they come into the room. Those friends or relatives who have, or recently had, the flu, should not come close at all.
Omitting to learn from older mothers
There are young mothers who, after getting pregnant, are sure they have everything in hand and are perfectly able to cope with everything by themselves. But it won’t be long before they find out the hard way that they stand in need of other people’s assistance – it can take but a few days after their arrival home. While they may get help, they don’t often think about inviting advice.
A mother with previous experience can make a young mom’s life infinitely easier, having been through all the stages of caring for a baby, and she can step in with timely advice and guidance. And if there is the baby’s grandmother available, it makes the situation even more marvelous.
Comparisons with what was expected
Future mothers can’t but dream about the wonderful life that they are going to enjoy thoroughly after their first-born has come. But we know how it is: very few things in life happen in accordance with our expectations. While we are dreaming, life acts out scenarios that are better – or worse.
The idea is that moms should retain a hold on the present without recalling their expectations and comparing them against reality. If they succumb to comparisons, it will certainly make their lives more difficult. Living with a constant realization that things are not going as they were imagined can get anyone down. Finding herself in this situation a young mom is advised to enlist help and support at once.
Distancing from partners
A new mom is likely to immerse herself in caring for the newborn baby so much that she may exclude her partner totally out of consideration. Thinking about assistance from her female relatives and friends, she doesn’t turn her mind to the one who is the most logical and caring helper – her man.
While the mother can have all the help she requires and feel no need to turn to her partner for immediate support, it doesn’t mean she does well not to involve her man. The person who can be the best helper, both in terms of caring for his baby and providing quality rest to his woman, wouldn’t want to feel pushed aside and left out. Make him an important person in the new life you are leading.
Getting over changes
Although a mother has been with a baby for nine months and ought to have adjusted herself to her new status, some women fail to realize fully how their life has changed. They long for the kind of life they had before they got pregnant – which is not very practical. With a new-born baby at home they won’t be able to take pleasure trips or spend time with friends as often as they used to.
A baby is apt to take all the time the woman has, so the first-time mom should be ready to give up her habits and occupations she revealed in before, for the baby deserves top priority. In order to enjoy motherhood, the woman has to conscientiously embrace the new state of things. When the kid has grown some, social ties will slowly float in back.
Getting a baby miff
The quality mothers need most is patience – lots of it. Some babies seem to never cease crying; it may be all right because it is their way of expressing themselves to the world, and they don’t know just how frustrating it is. Unfortunately, that is not the only frustrating thing babies can do. To say nothing of throwing up on clean clothes.
As frustrations begin to build up, it means the time has come for the mother to wind down. Also, she should learn to overlook the kid’s frustrating actions, because if she gets miffed with her baby, it will only bring additional pressure to her already complicated life.
Taking other people’s opinions too seriously
A young mom may feel besieged by other people’s opinions. Those around her have their own ideas of how a first-time mom is supposed to behave and look after little children. Sometimes they may be importunate with their advice or airing their views. No-one can fulfill everything that people expect from him. Trying to do so is what can bring a lot of frustration into your life.
A burning question for many a first-time mom is whether breastfeeding before people is acceptable or not. Needless to say, everyone can understand that a baby needs to be fed whenever and wherever it desires nourishment; yet the people around can hold different views on that point. Anyway, if the mom doesn’t trespass the law, she should act in her baby’s interests first and foremost.
