How to Talk about Bad Grades?

Checking the child’s grades is a nervous affair – grades are never (or almost never) as good as you expect. And it’s up to you to express your concern, respond to both good and unsatisfactory grades. There are times when the children themselves are ashamed, devastated, and their own reaction can be enough to keep their heads screwed right about it. Yet most parents have to apply themselves to the task to stem a possible downside. How to talk about bad grades?

Remember that children and their grades are not the same thing

Poor grades are distressing, chances are the kid won’t be in a hurry to let you know how badly they fare. Make them understand that you don’t love them whatever their grades might be.

Remember giving them credit for things they are proficient at. Keep telling them there are no people who are wonderful at everything, so their lack of success doesn’t set them out as failures. If they keep on trying hard (with your assistance), they could merit for better academic credits in the future.

Grades cannot be disregarded, true, but they mustn’t be equaled to professional success.

Take some time off

When you are holding the school report card in your hand (or brought it up on the monitor), and it is that bad, don’t fly off the handle straightaway. Of course you would want to flare up at once, the more so if it’s an ongoing state of affairs, but it’s worth your while to hold your horses, schedule the talk for later, announce it to the child, and give yourself time to see it in perspective.

Arranging it like this, you are likely to do without mutual screaming – the way of talking that is sure not to result in anything like a productive conclusion and will impair your relationship.

Mind that the issue requires more concern than anger

The current grades may be news to you but not to your child. Bear in mind that what is done cannot be undone, and the most important thing is to move on.

When discussing the report card, your main goal would be to find out what caused the grades to go down. You will get there faster if you ask questions, let the kid explain what happened and get to know what steps can be taken to make sure that you both will be able to improve the situation.

Make inquiries

The point is to know the reason your child ended up with bad grades. Maybe, something is wrong at school. Their home setting might be not encouraging for studies. They do not want to learn. They are more interested in games and talks with pals. What is it exactly?

Do not talk more than your kid; let them do the talking and the explaining. The kid ought to be aware what caused the downslide and how to prevent it happening again. Hearing them out you understand the situation and can help them towards arriving at a solution.

You have to tackle the issue leading to poor academic performance and do not let it grow into a real educational crisis.

Discuss it with the teacher

Before you employ any strategy for bettering the situation, you would do well to talk it over with the teacher. The teacher often holds the key and can give you insight on the matter: whether it is a case of laziness, learning disability, or what kind of help the learner may need to improve.

Besides, you can gain the understanding of the teaching style your child is exposed to, what is expected of them and how grading is done. You can also get advice on how to explain the material to the child or make them listen to some good online courses. Sometimes the child’s understanding of the subject is a team work and all concerned should be involved.

The thing is for the kid to be fond of learning; unless they are, praise and censure will be of no avail

No matter what your feelings about education are, display approval and support of school. It will help your kid(s) accept school more eagerly, knowing that you are interested in what goes on there. Properly motivated, they won’t need control, praise, or reproofs.

If there are sideline activities like sport clubs or societies that do well for the child’s self-assurance and interest, don’t even think of forbidding them to attend them. When you want to deprive the guilty child of something, take away their privileges like playing computer games.

Make it sound positive, like: “once you have shown me your competed homework, you can have half an hour of video games.” Use “when” and “then” often to underscore the interdependence of actions and privileges, teach the young one to be accountable.

Watch for excessive pressure

A parent should be solicitous and reactive, yet adults must take care not to compare their children with others thus pushing them into a competition.

Kids shouldn’t be involved in a competition with others, it is bound to lead to undue pressure, depressive states, bad sleep and physical and mental disorders.

See if your child is organized properly

You should start with simple measures which could produce the desired results. In order not to make the situation out as too complex, begin with checking on the kid’s ability to organize his or her working time. Whether they can prepare all necessary items in good time, whether they know how they are to be used. This omission can cause quite a lot of stress, especially with younger children.

  • See that they work far from the TV set and phones.
  • The spot where they study should be quiet without possibility for distractions.
  • Check the child’s schedule; if it is too tight, scratch out some extracurricular activities.
  • Introduce established times for doing homework.
  • Teach them to have their backpacks and stuff totally prepared well beforehand, better still as soon as their assignments are done.
  • Make their desk devoid of any objects that can distract.
  • Check their goals for feasibility and break them up if they are too complex.
  • Establish a regular time every week for sitting down and discussing school and studying.
  • Follow your kid’s school progress, maintain contact with the teacher.
  • Praise them for accomplishments, big or small alike.