It is believed that every woman dreams of becoming a mother almost from the cradle and knows how to take care of a baby. If not, there is something wrong with her. It is even worse when a woman does not feel a surge of love and tenderness for a newborn baby. Should we sound the alarm and accuse the young mother of heartlessness in this case?
Experts believe that this is really normal. Some parents automatically feel intense love for their child immediately after the baby is born. Literally at first sight. To others, the feeling of an inseparable emotional connection with the baby does not come immediately. This is sometimes a rather lengthy and painful process that needs to be purposefully worked on.
This process is especially slow for dads, who, unlike mothers, do not bear, do not give birth and do not breastfeed the baby – which means that they are not connected with the baby in a physiological sense. In mothers, a long, difficult birth and postpartum depression can negatively affect the formation of attachment to the baby.
Not feeling the all-consuming love for the child (and people talk so much about it), the newly-made parents experience a huge sense of guilt. You should not panic if you did not immediately feel a surge of love for the newborn baby. At the same time, if the situation does not change, it is necessary to seek qualified psychological help, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.
How to help yourself form an attachment
The most effective way is skin-to-skin contact. Just cuddle a naked baby as often as possible and inhale his scent.
Eye to eye contact. While breastfeeding or bottle feeding, look your baby directly in the eyes – and an emotional connection will arise between you.
Talk to your child. Toddlers love to be talked to and eventually smile back. It is simply impossible to resist this smile. Tell them everything – about the weather, about the football match you watched, about what you plan to cook for dinner. The main thing is that he hears your voice, and soon he will begin to respond to it.
Carry your baby in a sling or backpack. Close physical contact is a great way to start forming an emotional attachment.
Give your baby a massage. This practice is good for the baby and helps relieve stress for both of you.