Children are not born with an innate understanding of one thing leading to another – and ending up in something unpredictable (and sometimes predictable). It is an understanding that should be taught, and it’s up to parents to pass down this knowledge by various means. You know that it is sometimes a good idea not to interfere and let the little one walk into a blunder, while in other situations, you should be ready to supply the consequence. In both cases, children will be learning to deal with problems without relying on adults to settle their issues. Thus they grow more independent.
Parents may not feel that their consequences are really productive, but they can influence their little ones’ behavior., having mastered a few principles
Some of the things required to make your consequences more efficacious can be found below.
Consistency is necessary
Children living with predictability and consistency feel secure. If kids know rules and have firmly set boundaries, they find it easier to stay inside good behavior. Now those who lead a secure and dependable life have significantly less tendency to be recalcitrant and act up.
On the contrary, if your child observes that you are inconsistent, consequences come irregularly and vary. They begin to assume that you are flippant about consequences and open to dissuasion. So, whenever your kid breaks a rule, they must be given a commensurate consequence.
Expect instead of threatening
When you have an oncoming occasion, explain to your kid that you expect of them good behavior. Like when you take them to a movie theater, where people ought to be quiet and avoid distracting the public from watching.
When telling them about your expectations, add that in case they provide disturbance, they will be taken outside. But you hope that they will be just enjoying the show like everyone else. As you state your expectations and consequences clearly you lay grounds for the kid’s decent behavior.
Make consequences connected
The best way is to associate in the child’s mind specific transgressions with specific punishments or consequences. A cluttered room means they will have to bring it to order. This is logical and consequential, while depriving them of an entertainment because of mess wouldn’t be consequential; kids may not connect the consequence to the misdeed.
Talk consequences over
When your kid is old enough, and you can sound him or her on the point, stop dictating and involve them in discussing. Why do parents insist on the child wearing a coat in chilly weather? When people don’t brush their teeth, what could it result in? Children should understand why some rules must be stuck to and decide accordingly.
Don’t leave out positive consequences
Why should consequences be some kind of punishment solely? When talking over consequences with the kid(s), bring up good behaviors and discuss their outcomes. Thus children learn that as they do good things they make the world better, and it can make them feel gratified. It is a desire that should lead them through their lives.
Your child needs regular positive attention
A child can be disciplined more easily when he or she has a positive bond with parents. You can do good work with consequences if you are respected. Make a point of allotting at least a quarter of an hour daily to bestow positive attention to your progeny.
As you give them more time together, they are less likely to be given time-out due to their disrespectful attitude.
Positive attention is given even when you simply listen closely when your child wants to say something to you. Your unhurried strolls together is also an excellent way to provide attention. The main thing is not to get distracted on your smartphone hoping they don’t notice.
Consequences should come immediately
To be most efficacious, consequences should come on top of the misdeed. Depriving them of a pleasure trip that is scheduled for the next weekend will fall flat compared to immediate debarring today’s spell with a favorite game.
Immediate imposition secures in young minds the connection between the misdeed and its outcome. The further the consequence gets delayed, the worse the little ones remember why exactly they are subjected to the consequence.
See that consequences are age-appropriate
Discipline establishment cannot be very effective unless it is in strict accordance with the stage of the child’s development. With a little one, age 3 or less, you can let the matter rest with a reminder that the next time they will be subjected to a time-out. Observe if a reminder alone is able to change their behavior.
As children grow older, a reminder is no longer sufficient. You should recognize this point of no return and follow through on your warning. If the kid hasn’t improved their behavior, lead them away to a secluded spot where they can stay for a few minutes.
When the child has grown enough, you can start discussing their time-out with them. Tell them they have a 5-minute time-out, but if they realize why their behavior is unacceptable and they can hold themselves in hand, they can go back. This is great for developing self-control and responsibility and can even lead to better results.
Be ready to upgrade your tactics
If overused, consequences tend to lose efficacy. You’d better not practice time-out several times a day day in, day out. And when your child realizes that he keeps forfeiting his privileges he might lose interest in them and interest himself in something else.
So if you see that your kid becomes immune to these disciplinary measures, think up (or read up) other measures – try ignoring, praising, set up a system of rewards.
Use positive disciplining judiciously so that it makes the child(ren) re-think their behavior and serves to advance your relationship and instill it with better understanding.